My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
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This baby is an asshole
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
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I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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