I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
should my penis look like a turkey
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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