Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
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