i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
