I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
