but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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