Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
