Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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