we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
