You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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