he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Success! We fucked roommates!
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
