So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
