i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
