Non-Jews are for practice
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
it glows. i had to have it.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
