I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
