Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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