the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
