i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
