Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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