Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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