So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
