saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
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It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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