It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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