Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
