dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
