He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
