the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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