Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
