Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
