a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
