i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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