Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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