it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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