it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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