I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
