Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
