Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
