He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
