Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
