I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
