Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
