ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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