omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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