scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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