He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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