I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
