I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
