You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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