I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
she smelled like a LAN party
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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