The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
