I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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