you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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