Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
