so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
