It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i dont even know how to be here
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
