discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
