He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch