Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
