Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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