i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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