Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
