When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
