so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
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