Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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