I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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