Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
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We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
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So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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