I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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