His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
