Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
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Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
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…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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